Mrs. Teabody Gives Directions

Good morning! Bonjour! Buongiorno! Goedemorgen! abāḥul kẖayr! Guten Morgen!

Gentle Reader, do you communicate in any language other than that of your birth country? If your answer is  yes, oui, ja, si, ha, Mrs. Teabody applauds you. How wonderfully clever you are! Mr. and Mrs. Teabody often travel to other parts of the world but would not dream of doing so without a phrase book, a very helpful thing when  having newly arrived at Gare du Nord train station in Paris so you do not put your debit card into a train ticket dispensing machine hoping to get cash in return, or, for that matter, make an hotel reservation. Mrs. Teabody on her first visit to Paris so many years ago had to look up the meaning of "Sortie" as it was posted  with such frequency and prominence. A very red-faced Mrs. Teabody. Of course, if one takes the time during a long visit to a foreign city one does learn the expressions of conventional  civility. One would be churlish not to, do you not agree, Gentle Reader? The language issue came to the forefront in discovering that the Teabodys' next venture to Isla Mujeres, a paradisial island off the coast of Cancun, is now fewer than ten weeks away. ¡Dios mio!

Mrs. Teabody had begun a very successful "slimming regimen" as recently as Monday morning in preparation for  the aforementioned beach vacation so it was with regret (minimal) that the slimming regimen simply had to be abandoned yesterday evening to commemorate the birthday of Darling Mr. Teabody. As commerce had placed Mr. Teabody in a distant village at the dinner hour, the Teabodys made a decision to visit a bistro highly recommended by their dear friend and dentist: E.J.'s Grill, formerly Schoenbergers' Restaurant.  For the uninitiated, this bistro is located along a busy two-lane, one-way thoroughfare just after the railroad underpass, opposite the landmark Professional Arts Building. EVERYONE knows the location. Everyone except for Mr. Teabody, who had the misfortune of spending a largish part of his life fathoms away in Rochester, New York. Mrs. Teabody had to give Mr. Teabody DIRECTIONS and she did so emphasizing over and over and over ad  nauseum that Mr. Teabody should position himself in the right lane, that being in any other lane would be to his great disadvantage,  that being in the left lane would most assuredly send him round the block for another go at the parking lot.

Gentle Reader, it will come as a great shock to you that Mrs. Teabody's directions were erroneous. Mon Dieu! She had placed her darling husband in peril and at a disadvantage. Not only did he have to park on the opposite side of the thoroughfare and pick his way deftly across it, but Mr. Teabody also had to remain in good humor over it. Which he did. A lovely dinner followed-- a shared fantastic cheese board with whole grain mustard, sliced tart fruit, five artisanal cheeses, vanilla balsamic. Sigh.
So delicious that Mrs. Teabody could not enjoy more than a few bites of the divine entree. Suffice to say, Gentle Reader, that you really must enjoy the cuisine at E.J.'s Grill. Soon. With someone as affable as Mr. Teabody.

Mrs. Teabody has a morning appointment with the magical and mysterious Mme. Sophia so this crude missive must come to an end.   Everyone makes mistakes, Gentle Reader. How else does one end up with unused train tickets to Brussels? Paying for a single night in a Paris hotel one never entered? Or finding oneself on the wrong side of the street? Catastrophic? Hardly. Any plan that forces one out of his/her own bailiwick is rife with opportunity for mishap. The equanimity to  deal with small errors is priceless. Mr. Teabody has it in spades. And that, given the fact that Mrs. Teabody is not a jot like Magellan, Gentle Reader, is a very good quality to possess.

Ta for now!