Mrs. Teabody Does Not Embrace "Words with Friends"
Good Friday morning, Gentle Reader! Mrs. Teabody is aware that today is actually a holiday for many of you and the beginning of a four-day hiatus. Jolly good! Whatever diversion tickles your fancy, by all means embrace it with abandon and live in the moment. Whatever you do, do NOT think about Tuesday. Tuesday will arrive without one drop of effort from you.
Once commerce ceased yesterday, Mr. and Mrs. Teabody swanned off to a neighboring village to purchase a printer/scanner/FAX machine for Tickle Your Fancy. Always concerned with expanding your knowledge base, Gentle Reader, Mrs. Teabody wishes to inform you that this "combination printer" ranges in price from fifty-six dollars all the way up to four hundred dollars. And, as is the case with all electronic equipment, there are no fewer than nine cables one must purchase to make the machine actually function and these can ratchet up the costs exponentially. Truly, Mrs. Teabody has so many attachments on her computer already that she feels the same trepidation usually reserved for stringing too many lengths of Christmas lights together. Eventually this will come to no good end.
After signing on the dotted line for an astonishing number of dollars, Mrs. Teabody went in search of a new curling iron to replace her old curling iron purchased during the Reagan years. Here again, Mrs. Teabody was struck nearly senseless by variety and price. In the interest of expanding your knowledge once again -- the knowledge of those who eschew such experiences -- one can now pay nearly TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS for an electrical hair appliance. Is that not mind boggling? Is it small wonder that when Mrs. Teabody finally stumbled upon one costing less than TWENTY DOLLARS, she snatched it up with alacrity and struck off for the check out line with such speed that she felt her soon-to-be-curly locks blowing away from her face? Mon Dieu!
Returning to the village, Mr.Teabody kindly inquired if Mrs. Teabody wished him to install the new printer/scanner/FAX machine at TYF. Mrs. Teabody did and in less time than it takes Mrs. Teabody to read the latest issue of VANITY FAIR, Mr. Teabody had signed agreements, accepted terms and conditions, made things wireless or wired -- in short , hopped through the ONE THOUSAND hoops one must hop through just so that Mrs. Teabody can make some darling little signs in TYF. Has there ever been anyone so wonderful as Mr. Teabody? No, Gentle Reader, there has not been.
Once the dust had settled and the Teabodys had prepared for the evening's less strenuous endeavors, Mrs. Teabody gathered up the little Fire to check the progress of the games she is ostensibly "playing" - - several games of Words With Friends. Had Mary ever responded to the word harp played on Saturday last? No, she had not. Had Felix been charmed enough by toes played Sunday to come on board and meet the challenge? Felix had not. Surely rmshed had played a word? After all, who could resist responding to tinkle? Apparently rmshed could and had. Gentle Reader, what sort of GAME is it if no one ever responds? Should Mrs. Teabody stand at the service line and smash the tennis ball deftly over the net if there is no one to return it? Mon Dieu! It does make Mrs. Teabody cross. And Mrs. Teabody avoids that state of mind so she will save her word making skills for a lively game of Scrabble played in real time with a live person. Maybe with a glass of Pinot Noir? Or a nice cuppa? Scrabble, anyone?
Once commerce ceased yesterday, Mr. and Mrs. Teabody swanned off to a neighboring village to purchase a printer/scanner/FAX machine for Tickle Your Fancy. Always concerned with expanding your knowledge base, Gentle Reader, Mrs. Teabody wishes to inform you that this "combination printer" ranges in price from fifty-six dollars all the way up to four hundred dollars. And, as is the case with all electronic equipment, there are no fewer than nine cables one must purchase to make the machine actually function and these can ratchet up the costs exponentially. Truly, Mrs. Teabody has so many attachments on her computer already that she feels the same trepidation usually reserved for stringing too many lengths of Christmas lights together. Eventually this will come to no good end.
After signing on the dotted line for an astonishing number of dollars, Mrs. Teabody went in search of a new curling iron to replace her old curling iron purchased during the Reagan years. Here again, Mrs. Teabody was struck nearly senseless by variety and price. In the interest of expanding your knowledge once again -- the knowledge of those who eschew such experiences -- one can now pay nearly TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS for an electrical hair appliance. Is that not mind boggling? Is it small wonder that when Mrs. Teabody finally stumbled upon one costing less than TWENTY DOLLARS, she snatched it up with alacrity and struck off for the check out line with such speed that she felt her soon-to-be-curly locks blowing away from her face? Mon Dieu!
Returning to the village, Mr.Teabody kindly inquired if Mrs. Teabody wished him to install the new printer/scanner/FAX machine at TYF. Mrs. Teabody did and in less time than it takes Mrs. Teabody to read the latest issue of VANITY FAIR, Mr. Teabody had signed agreements, accepted terms and conditions, made things wireless or wired -- in short , hopped through the ONE THOUSAND hoops one must hop through just so that Mrs. Teabody can make some darling little signs in TYF. Has there ever been anyone so wonderful as Mr. Teabody? No, Gentle Reader, there has not been.
Once the dust had settled and the Teabodys had prepared for the evening's less strenuous endeavors, Mrs. Teabody gathered up the little Fire to check the progress of the games she is ostensibly "playing" - - several games of Words With Friends. Had Mary ever responded to the word harp played on Saturday last? No, she had not. Had Felix been charmed enough by toes played Sunday to come on board and meet the challenge? Felix had not. Surely rmshed had played a word? After all, who could resist responding to tinkle? Apparently rmshed could and had. Gentle Reader, what sort of GAME is it if no one ever responds? Should Mrs. Teabody stand at the service line and smash the tennis ball deftly over the net if there is no one to return it? Mon Dieu! It does make Mrs. Teabody cross. And Mrs. Teabody avoids that state of mind so she will save her word making skills for a lively game of Scrabble played in real time with a live person. Maybe with a glass of Pinot Noir? Or a nice cuppa? Scrabble, anyone?
How can one find printers that cost fifty-six dollars as well as printers that cost four hundred dollars? How can one find hair appliances that cost less than twenty dollars as well as some that cost more than two hundred dollars? How can one find a printer so complicated to operate that it requires a learner's manual no fewer than eighty pages in length? And last, but certainly not least, seriously, how long should one give an opponent to respond in Words with Friends (in absentia)? Mrs. Teabody sincerely wishes she could answer all these queries to your satisfaction, Gentle Reader, but Alas! the modern world is often a trial to Mrs. Teabody. She has decided that several cups of tea will put the world to rights and she shall put all these questions to rest by simply accepting these facts of the modern day world as they are. Compared to the joys of the universe, the renewing properties of nature, and the great good fortune of loving and being loved in return, these woes are small indeed. Embrace this holiday weekend and its promise, and if you are in the neighborhood, do stop by TYF and say Hello. Perhaps Mrs. Teabody will show you the new printer/scanner/FAX. Better still, perhaps she won't even mention it. :)
Ta for now, Darlings! Cheers!
Comments
Post a Comment