Mrs. Teabody Sorts Her Handbag/ Purse /Pocketbook
Oh My Goodness, Gentle Readers, look at the time!
Mrs. Teabody is doing so as Mr. Teabody has only now set the grandfather clock in motion shaking Mrs. Teabody from her gentle Patricia Cornwell-inspired stupor. Mon Dieu! Two hours turned to vapor in the wake of another nail-biting intrigue-o. Mrs. Teabody wanted some diversion as she had spent ever so much time sorting her handbag/purse/pocketbook during the pre-dawn hours. The contents spilled atop the dining room table initially created a sense of dismay but buoyed by the knowledge that happiness would be the end result, Mrs. Teabody applied herself dutifully to the task. Soon all was put to rights. As she sorted, Mrs. Teabody began to think about the various terms she has heard women use for a handbag/purse/pocketbook.
Mrs. Teabody would so much like to speak with precision regarding the "thing" she carries about that contains all her essentials for day-to-day commerce in this century. This inspired a tete-a-tete with the all-knowing Mr Wikipedia who has much to say on the topic. According to him, the current popular handbag silhouettes are (as of 2011):
Baguette - a small, narrow, rectangular shape purse, resembling a French loaf of bread (baguette)
* This could be very good to transport an eyeliner pencil and eyebrow brush, a lipstick or two and maybe that divine little flask from Aunt Sophie, but hardly adequate for most purposes--such as a deck of playing cards for an impromptu game of gin rummy or a corkscrew given that.
Barrel - shaped like a barrel or closed tube, usually with shoulder-length straps
* Great potential here especially as there seems to be no SIZE limitation. However, Mrs. Teabody cannot imagine herself saying to Mr. Teabody, "Could you fetch me my barrel, Darling?"
Bowling bag purse - a popular 1990s "retro" style for younger women, modelled after American bags used to carry bowling balls
* Aside from the obvious slight - -"younger women" ( Mon Dieu!) - - this fills the bill size-wise, but again the very name causes a small knot to form in Mrs. Teabody's tum.
Clutch - a handbag without handles, rectangular in shape, often an evening bag but used during the day as well
* Mrs. Teabody has great regard for any woman who gets by with ONE of these. In fact she likes them so very much that she herself carries TWO clutches INSIDE her handbag/ purse/pocketbook-- one exclusively for her aromatherapy vials.
Doctor's bag - modelled after a Victorian era doctor's bag for making housecalls
* These have Mrs. Teabody's full endorsement as a doctor's paraphernalia must number right up there with Mrs. Teabody's paraphernalia, but again there is the problem with the term, isn't there?
Drawstring - a purse that closes with a drawstring at the top, may have wrist- or shoulder-length straps, popular as an evening bag style
**Darling but impractical. String? STRING? Strap or belt or hitch, but no to "string"
Half-moon - shaped as a half-moon
*Really? Really? To carry one's un-nibbled wedge of watermelon? A truncated slice of pizza? A fan?
Hobo - medium-size crescent-shaped bag with a top zipper and often a slouch or dip in the centre; a modern, casual silhouette
** Notch it up in size and this is a contender sans the top zipper which Mrs. Teabody disdains with very good reason. But then there is the class issue which goes without saying so Mrs. Teabody won't.
Lighted - a handbag with a lighting system which has been attempted since the 1950s without success until recently when in 2011 the first successful lighted handbag was brought to market.
** A LIGHTED handbag? This is not to be taken seriously. Seriously.
Messenger bag - one long strap worn across the body, inspired by bags worn by urban messengers to deliver business mail, a modern silhouette
*** Mrs. Teabody much prefers this style for a day of gaming. Perfect. There is something sporty about the name as well. Climbing on one's Moped and scurrying across the city with some "message" of note. So much excitement has been lost with modern technology, do you not concur, Gentle Reader?
Minaudière - a small rectangular evening bag, usually hard-bodied, sometimes held inside a soft fabric bag that serves as a sleeve
** The very concept renders Mrs. Teabody speechless.
Muff - a winter bag made of real or faux fur, wool or velvet that has zippered compartments and a slip opening for hands
*** Yes, of course, everyone nowadays carries a MUFF. Mon Dieu! Even a person of Mrs. Teabody's ancient sensibilities knows enough not to fling this term about.
Pocketbook - small purse, rectangular shape
*** Mrs. Teabody shall eschew calling her handbag a pocketbook from here on to eternity. She CAN be taught in spite of the adage to the contrary.
Saddle purse - shaped like a horse saddle, may have equestrian motifs and hardware to emphasize the design
**Oh, No. . . No. . . No. . . No. . . NO!
Satchel - a soft-sided case usually of leather
** Define "case." Sounds un-accommodating
Tote - medium to large bag with two straps and an open top
* Voila! Mon petit chou! Merci!
Trapezoid - shaped as a trapezoid, usually made of stiff material
** Mr. Wikipedia, you will soon lose credibility if you persist in this practice of mixing G-ometery with fashion so No. No.
Ah, Gentle Readers, what a joy enlightenment brings! Mrs. Teabody sorted her TOTE in the pre-dawn hours. She suggests, Gentle Reader, that you engage in some organizational task today as well and then reward yourself with a steaming cup of a brand new black tea at Tickle Your Fancy called "Bon Jour!
Mrs. Teabody is doing so as Mr. Teabody has only now set the grandfather clock in motion shaking Mrs. Teabody from her gentle Patricia Cornwell-inspired stupor. Mon Dieu! Two hours turned to vapor in the wake of another nail-biting intrigue-o. Mrs. Teabody wanted some diversion as she had spent ever so much time sorting her handbag/purse/pocketbook during the pre-dawn hours. The contents spilled atop the dining room table initially created a sense of dismay but buoyed by the knowledge that happiness would be the end result, Mrs. Teabody applied herself dutifully to the task. Soon all was put to rights. As she sorted, Mrs. Teabody began to think about the various terms she has heard women use for a handbag/purse/pocketbook.
Mrs. Teabody would so much like to speak with precision regarding the "thing" she carries about that contains all her essentials for day-to-day commerce in this century. This inspired a tete-a-tete with the all-knowing Mr Wikipedia who has much to say on the topic. According to him, the current popular handbag silhouettes are (as of 2011):
Baguette - a small, narrow, rectangular shape purse, resembling a French loaf of bread (baguette)
* This could be very good to transport an eyeliner pencil and eyebrow brush, a lipstick or two and maybe that divine little flask from Aunt Sophie, but hardly adequate for most purposes--such as a deck of playing cards for an impromptu game of gin rummy or a corkscrew given that.
Barrel - shaped like a barrel or closed tube, usually with shoulder-length straps
* Great potential here especially as there seems to be no SIZE limitation. However, Mrs. Teabody cannot imagine herself saying to Mr. Teabody, "Could you fetch me my barrel, Darling?"
Bowling bag purse - a popular 1990s "retro" style for younger women, modelled after American bags used to carry bowling balls
* Aside from the obvious slight - -"younger women" ( Mon Dieu!) - - this fills the bill size-wise, but again the very name causes a small knot to form in Mrs. Teabody's tum.
Clutch - a handbag without handles, rectangular in shape, often an evening bag but used during the day as well
* Mrs. Teabody has great regard for any woman who gets by with ONE of these. In fact she likes them so very much that she herself carries TWO clutches INSIDE her handbag/ purse/pocketbook-- one exclusively for her aromatherapy vials.
Doctor's bag - modelled after a Victorian era doctor's bag for making housecalls
* These have Mrs. Teabody's full endorsement as a doctor's paraphernalia must number right up there with Mrs. Teabody's paraphernalia, but again there is the problem with the term, isn't there?
Drawstring - a purse that closes with a drawstring at the top, may have wrist- or shoulder-length straps, popular as an evening bag style
**Darling but impractical. String? STRING? Strap or belt or hitch, but no to "string"
Half-moon - shaped as a half-moon
*Really? Really? To carry one's un-nibbled wedge of watermelon? A truncated slice of pizza? A fan?
Hobo - medium-size crescent-shaped bag with a top zipper and often a slouch or dip in the centre; a modern, casual silhouette
** Notch it up in size and this is a contender sans the top zipper which Mrs. Teabody disdains with very good reason. But then there is the class issue which goes without saying so Mrs. Teabody won't.
Lighted - a handbag with a lighting system which has been attempted since the 1950s without success until recently when in 2011 the first successful lighted handbag was brought to market.
** A LIGHTED handbag? This is not to be taken seriously. Seriously.
Messenger bag - one long strap worn across the body, inspired by bags worn by urban messengers to deliver business mail, a modern silhouette
*** Mrs. Teabody much prefers this style for a day of gaming. Perfect. There is something sporty about the name as well. Climbing on one's Moped and scurrying across the city with some "message" of note. So much excitement has been lost with modern technology, do you not concur, Gentle Reader?
Minaudière - a small rectangular evening bag, usually hard-bodied, sometimes held inside a soft fabric bag that serves as a sleeve
** The very concept renders Mrs. Teabody speechless.
Muff - a winter bag made of real or faux fur, wool or velvet that has zippered compartments and a slip opening for hands
*** Yes, of course, everyone nowadays carries a MUFF. Mon Dieu! Even a person of Mrs. Teabody's ancient sensibilities knows enough not to fling this term about.
Pocketbook - small purse, rectangular shape
*** Mrs. Teabody shall eschew calling her handbag a pocketbook from here on to eternity. She CAN be taught in spite of the adage to the contrary.
Saddle purse - shaped like a horse saddle, may have equestrian motifs and hardware to emphasize the design
**Oh, No. . . No. . . No. . . No. . . NO!
Satchel - a soft-sided case usually of leather
** Define "case." Sounds un-accommodating
Tote - medium to large bag with two straps and an open top
* Voila! Mon petit chou! Merci!
Trapezoid - shaped as a trapezoid, usually made of stiff material
** Mr. Wikipedia, you will soon lose credibility if you persist in this practice of mixing G-ometery with fashion so No. No.
Ah, Gentle Readers, what a joy enlightenment brings! Mrs. Teabody sorted her TOTE in the pre-dawn hours. She suggests, Gentle Reader, that you engage in some organizational task today as well and then reward yourself with a steaming cup of a brand new black tea at Tickle Your Fancy called "Bon Jour!
Once again the weather gods smile on our small village. There are enough blazing red cardinals at the feeders just now to give each of you a bright spot to think on regardless of the day's toil. There are bright spots, Gentle Reader. Do look for them. Ta!
I do so wish you would write a book. I would be the first in line to buy one! Have you written any short stories!
ReplyDeleteMon Dieu! How very kind you are! Mrs. Teabody will be "exploring" another phase of writing sometime in the coming months and you shall be the very first to know of it. Merci!
Delete