Mr. and Mrs. Teabody and the Treacherous GPS

Good Morrow, Darlings All!
Here at last is the day of rest for many, Gentle Readers, and Mrs. Teabody trusts  all will use such a day in the best possible manner. The Teabodys have had a long winter's nap following a bit of a "wild goose chase" as they say here in the upper thirteen largely through the machinations of the Global Positioning Device of which Mr. Teabody is so irrepressibly fond. Mrs. Teabody is less enamored as the dastardly machine once led her miles from the targeted destination of Union Station in the District of Columbia. Mrs. Teabody chased herself along the concentric circles stopping to ask directions a total of nine times with two of those within two hundred yards of her destination. She is not unsympathetic to the fictional television character, Michael Scott, who once drove a rental car into a lake following prompts from a Global Positioning Device. On the other hand the Global Positioning Device has also done positive work of note safely guiding Mrs. Teabody out of a number of airports so Mrs. Teabody does embrace it in its finer moments. Yesterday was not one of its days to shine, however . . .

Mrs. Teabody must soon purchase a motor car. The combined mileage on the Teabody motorcars approaches three hundred and fifty thousand miles, (Mon Dieu!), and both feel that striking out for Miami in either car in February would be foolhardy. Mrs. Teabody wishes to purchase a motor car that is both sporty and practical, a joy to drive but  as reliable as death and/or taxes. Mrs. Teabody  chose two cars she wished to consider-- a BEIGE Chevrolet Malibu ( a reliable, comfortable, quiet) and a RED Honda CR-Z (sporty, responsive and in the words of Duchess Yeargin of California " a totally bitchin' ride") {Pardon, Gentle Readers, but this expression always brings a little smile to Mrs. Teabody's face}.

Mr. Teabody fed data into the Global Positioning Device and the Teabodys set out in general good spirits--spirits that prevailed until Mr. Teabody took the first turn using only two of the motorcar's four wheels. A certain unpleasantness followed and that was followed by tomb-like silence that was broken only when the Teabodys found themselves at an intersection. As Mrs. Teabody has made this particular journey any number of times, she KNEW the best/ shortest/quickest route to take was left while the Global Positioning Device insisted upon a right-hand turn. In the interest of civility, Mrs. Teabody acquiesced and all too soon the Teabodys were rumbling along paths intended for cattle and  other animals of an even wilder nature. Even Mr. Teabody was taken aback at the summit of an especially precipitous mountain. Hours later the Teabodys found themselves at their desired location. Mrs. Teabody's lips were WELDED together by sheer force of will.  The first test drive was the Chevrolet Malibu which Mrs. Teabody enjoyed immensely. Duchess Tilly owns just such a motorcar and it is both comfortable and quiet.  Mr. Teabody could not have been more bored. He took two calls on his little cellular phone and read a comic strip whilst Mrs. Teabody nattered on about this or that feature.

Soon the Malibu was put back in place and the Teabodys went in search of the Honda CR-Z which was being stored INSIDE the building.  The very affable salesman with the wonderful name "Raleigh" explained that it was an easy car to bring inside and the Teabodys could have a drive in it the coming week when the salesroom was not buzzing with so many potential buyers. "Raleigh" allowed the Teabodys to inspect the car and sit inside. It is a wicked- appearing car, and Mr. Teabody was very much engaged through this period. Mr. Teabody ADORES cars. Gentle Readers, this car has a FIN on its roof. Truly. A red FIN! Brilliant!

With promises of a mid-week return, the Teabodys climbed inside their ancient motorcar setting the Global Positioning Device  for a fine tavern in nearby Bedford County. The Global Positioning Device was in one of its more treacherous moods and it delivered the Teabodys to a Sheetz convenience store insisting it had delivered them to the Jean Bonnet Tavern, even when the Teabodys could clearly discern they were FAR from their desired location.  Double Mon Dieu! Gentle Readers. The Teabodys forged homeward ending their quest for fine dining at a Pizza Hut -- hardly the sort of place they had set their hearts for but filled with the general good spirits of others from their environs.  Mrs. Teabody wanted to ask if they, too, had arrived at the Pizza Hut because their Global Positioning Devices had led them there. All's well that ends well, I suppose.

There is a lesson in all this, Gentle Readers, and that lesson is that intuition, experience and common sense should sometimes be given more credence than the recommendations of a Global Positioning Device, and even a wild goose chase can have a happy ending if one yields a wee bit of ground. Enjoy this glorious day! Mrs. Teabody  hears the kettle whistling and can almost taste Casasblanca Twist! Ta!