Mrs. Teabody's "best-laid schemes" Go Awry
For promis'd joy!"
Darlings, there has been tumult in the Teabody household this morning, and the plans Mrs. Teabody had made for a leisurely morning repast with Mr. Teabody before Mrs. Moppit's arrival were laid waste by a tiny creature made famous by Robert Burns: the Mousie.
Sad to report that with the advent of chillier temperatures, the Teabodys have been made painfully aware of the encampment of such a creature in the Teabody pantries. This is a yearly invasion and generally Duchess Ming, the odious cat, humane traps or simple good fortune make short shrift of this annoyance. However, the Teabody mousie is especially cunning this year, and Mrs. Teabody is not altogether certain of human dominion at the climax of his attempted usurpation. Held hostage by the tiny terror for DAYS now, the future seems nebulous.
Duchess Ming has been police-like in her pursuit over the past several days, placing herself immovably before the pantries where the tiny terror has taken up his stronghold behind Mrs. Butterworth. His fleetness of foot is a distinct advantage . Yester morning Mrs. Teabody stamped her tiny foot as she implored Mr. Teabody to "take arms against this sea of troubles." To Mr. Teabody's credit, Mrs. Teabody did find a golf club, a roll of paper towels and a flagstaff on the kitchen floor close to the creature's lair.
This morning Mrs. Teabody chose to take matters into her own lily-white hands. One by one items flew from the pantry and what surprises lay there for Mrs. T: no fewer than five bottles of white corn syrup, three and one half bags of brown sugar, enough cupcake papers to make a carpet for the field inside Yankee Stadium, no fewer than four bottles of Mrs. Butterworth's pancake syrup - - Mrs. Teabody cannot recall the last time pancakes were made in Chez Teabody - - and enough sugar-free gelatin to give each and every family in Fulton County a box to call their own. To whom does one attribute such foolish accumulations? Surely it must be Mr. Teabody's doing as Mrs. Teabody is not known for any sort of extravagance. . .
Duchess Ming sat at vigilance as Mrs. Teabody continued to place the contents from the pantry onto the counter. She was just about to remove a THIRD box of Hershey's cocoa when MON DIEU! . . the mousie suddenly SPRANG from the shelf onto the tile, crossing the kitchen with Duchess Ming in mad pursuit ! Oh, it was something to see regardless of its very short exposure as the mousie quickly took refuse in the pots and pans cupboard, Duchess Ming snapping her vice-like jaws in anticipation of mousie flesh. 'twas simply not to be. Alas.
Mrs. Teabody sighed and set to work with sudsy hot water, rubber gloves, disinfectant, paper towels and in less time than it takes for one to read the entire Declaration of Independence in script, in French, the pantries were duly scrubbed and every black rice-like pellet - - -so VERY MANY! - -was eradicated. Double Mon Dieu! Mrs. Teabody showered herself in welt-raising hot water and now feels sanitized enough to truly greet the day. A steaming cup of Adagio Blood Orange helps enormously. Delightful!
Mrs. Teabody's plans for the morning "Gang aft agley, " but it is far from the end of the earth. The sun is about to peer above the horizon, the temperature outdoors is pleasant, the weather is conducive to those traveling HOME, and Mrs. Teabody knows her blessings are abundant. Enjoy your day, Darlings, and don't let one little mishap darken your day.
Ta Darlings, and do check out Robert Burns if you have the chance.
http://www.robertburns.org/works/75.shtml
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