Mrs. Teabody and the Errant Gift Cards

Hola! Bon Jour! Hello! Mrs. Teabody is  fully awake and a force to be reckoned with today. A most satisfactory slumber insures an almost giddy sense of well being, and even though the morning sky is starless, the shortened work day assures some  happy, if thorn-filled, gardening hours in the afternoon. Isn't spring gardening the very best gardening, Gentle Reader? It is the one phase of the gardening year when one can exercise a modicum of control, host a dream of what is to come in the ensuing months unhampered by thoughts of thrips, black spot, Japanese beetles, slugs, droughts, weeds . . . Mon Dieu! Mrs. Teabody seems to be digging a bit of a hole for herself. Small joke. Do try to keep up! Mrs. Teabody wishes all gardeners a happy day ahead. However, gardening is NOT the topic du jour. Today's topic is the care and management of gift cards such as the one below. Attend.
Mrs Teabody KNOWS you have dozens of thoughtful friends, Gentle Reader. How could someone as charming as yourself not?  For the purposes of this discussion, Mrs. Teabody will assume you have received more than a few gift cards and / or  gift certificates as reward for your winning demeanor, extravagant kindness, outstanding artistry or merely for sharing a common genetic pool, yes?  Mrs. Teabody shall  tread a step farther and say she assumes you have one or, perhaps, even several in your possession at this very minute. Is it true? That glimmer in your eye suggests Mrs. Teabody has hit the mark. Emboldened, Mrs. Teabody shall take the final step and "suggest" that  there is the tiniest chance you have "misplaced" your gift card(s) and / or certificate(s).  Please applaud quietly if, like Mrs. Teabody - - in an effort toward Organization, an effort that often backfires, hoisting one on his/her own petard - - you have succumbed to some little phase of Disorganization, and the gift card(s) and / or certificate(s) can no longer be found. Does Mrs. Teabody hear applause? Yes, Gentle Reader, she does, and she applauds you in return for your forthrightness in admitting that you have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER where that $50 Home Depot gift card received at Michelmas has strayed. Mon Dieu! How off putting! Quelle horreur!

What is so terrible about admitting this human shortcoming, Gentle Reader? Would the same misstep have occurred had the gift giver given Mrs. Teabody something large and imposing -- like a grandfather clock or a canoe in the first place? No, Gentle Reader. Most assuredly not. Nor would Mrs. Teabody ever misplace  a  mixed case of wines from the Bordeaux region or a Louis Vuitton Mahina handbag. Gift cards and certficates are so tiny they lend themselves to being lost, do you not agree Gentle Reader?

Having made her defensive case, Mrs. Teabody shall now reveal to you that for a period of three days,  a very valuable stack of plastic and paper went missing. Fortunately, as always happens, Mrs. Teabody found the stack in the very last place she looked. Yes, that was a little joke. A very little joke. Do Mrs. Teabody the kindness of smiling. There 'tis. Charming. Merci.

Years ago a wonderful group of friends gave Mrs. Teabody a VERY generous gift certificate to one of her most favorite shops tucked inside the  loveliest card filled with heartfelt sentiments -- a  flower-bedecked greeting card Mrs. Teabody will keep and cherish forever. That particular VERY generous gift certificate enclosed, however, remains "on the lam" so to speak, and the Teabodys often make reference to it when anything else goes missing at Chez Teabody. In fact when Mrs. Teabody's search for the "very valuable stack of plastic and paper" reached its most frenzied, Mr. Teabody suggested that the stack may be keeping company with the VERY generous gift certificate, a comment that drew him a most unpleasant retort at the time, but  a comment Mrs. Teabody finds amusing now the errant stack has been discovered.
There is a moral to this story, Gentle Reader, and that is this: Ladies of a certain age and temperament should not be given gift cards and/ or certificates because there is a very good chance such a fiddly object will go missing. Better to give Mrs. Teabody something large and / or perishable, a smelly cheese, a bag of freshly-roasted peanuts or a pound of coffee beans. Better still, perhaps the pleasure of your company is gift enough, Gentle Reader?  Mrs. Teabody believes it is.

Ta for now, Darlings!






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