Mrs. Teabody Deals with Loss

Good Morning and Happy New Year, Gentle Readers all. Mrs. Teabody has been in a bit of a self-imposed hibernation through the "slings and arrows" of the past few weeks, hoping time will heal the ruptures in Mrs. Teabody's spirit. Perhaps, you, too, have a heavy heart. Most immediate is the sense of disbelief and loss with the Connecticut massacre and, closer to home, the loss of H. Lyle Duffey and the very recent passing of Naomi Brown Weller. In remembering both Lyle and Naomi, Mrs. Teabody weeps not only for her own loss but for the heartache their children are feeling. The poet, Ben Jonson, composed a poem about the loss of his son that ends with these lines:

Rest in soft peace, and, ask'd, say, "Here doth lie

Ben Jonson his best piece of poetry."

The world is a different and sadder place without both of these people, but it is a better place because of the "poetry" they created in the world. Mrs. Teabody counts their poetry among her treasured friends.

Loss is the partner of sadness, but many years ago Mrs. Teabody learned a lesson which has served her well - - one might say it has gotten her through many, many times of despair. She passes it along with the hope it may help someone--maybe even you, Gentle Reader, - - deal with the death of one you love.
At your very saddest moment, think with every ounce of your being what your dear departed friend would expect from you. Imagine him or her sitting right next to you and let that dear soul instruct your grief. What would your mother, your father, your dear friend say to you in your despair? In that reflective moment, you will see your loved one whole again and you will begin the process of honoring your loved one's whole life -- not just the loss, but the hopefulness, optimism, joy and love you felt in his/her presence, those moments locked in your memory that not only made that person unique but moments that made you who you are as well.

If you knew H. Lyle Duffey, perhaps you were among the crowd gathered at his service, If you were, you may recall one of his sons quoting one of his father's observations made very near the end of his life:

"I don't dislike anyone."

How can anyone hear such a statement from a dying man and not feel ashamed of all the ridiculous, pointless, self-killing emotions one allows to pass through one's mind in the course of a day? One cannot. Thank you, Lyle, for this final lesson.

***

Not ten miles away from where Mrs. Teabody  now sits watching the day's first amazing colors, Christy and Rob and Amanda - - Naomi's poetry - -  and the wonderful families they have created -- their own pieces of poetry - - are struggling with this new and uncomfortable state of being, and Mrs. Teabody would take their sadness if she could. When Mrs. Teabody thinks of their dear faces, she sees their mother's face stamped on theirs so clearly. The same bells in Naomi's laughter ring in their laughter. Her spirit and her vitality reside in them in their eyes, in their voices, and in their very nature. 

Thank you, Naomi, for being such an adored friend and for creating such wonderful children, such amazing poetry.

***

Yesterday, January 19, 2013, Mother Nature gave this part of the world a little glimpse of spring - - a little shot of the optimism Mrs. Teabody always felt in the presence of both Lyle and Naomi. Mrs. Teabody takes it as a message not to take any day for granted. Perhaps you should, too.